Why Moms Deserve More Than Just ‘Me Time’ They Deserve Deep Rest

I Thought ‘Me Time’ Was Enough

For the longest time I genuinely believed that staying up late was my version of self care.

After the kids were finally tucked in, the dishes cleared, and the last “Mum, where’s my…” was answered, the house would go quiet and that silence felt sacred. I would slide into my favorite spot on the couch, phone in hand, and just breathe for a moment. No one was touching me. No one was asking for anything. It was me time.

But here is the truth. I was not doing anything that truly recharged me.

Most nights I would get lost in a TikTok rabbit hole until one in the morning or I would fold laundry in silence just to feel productive. Sometimes I would scroll through home decor I could not afford or add skincare to my cart that I did not need. I was chasing a sense of peace in surface level moments and calling it self care.

It did not matter that the kids were finally sleeping. I was not. And I paid for it every morning. I was groggy, sore, and mentally worn out before the day even began. That time I thought I was gifting myself was actually stealing my rest.

Eventually, it clicked.

I did not need more time alone with distractions. I needed real, restorative sleep.

And that realisation changed everything.

The Mental Load No One Sees

There is a kind of work that does not show up on to-do lists, but it lives in your mind every single day. It is the constant running mental checklist. The silent reminders. The mental load of motherhood that no one really sees.

While I am helping with homework, I am also thinking about what to cook for dinner, whether we have enough milk for the morning, and if I remembered to RSVP to that birthday party. While folding clothes, I am mentally reviewing who needs a new pair of shoes, what appointments are coming up, and what I forgot to pack in the school bag. It never stops.

Even when I sit down, my mind is not really resting. It is multitasking in the background. Always preparing, always planning, always on.

And somehow, despite all of this, there is guilt. Guilt for resting. Guilt for not doing more. Society has this way of praising the “busy mom” like it is some kind of badge of honor. Like exhaustion equals devotion. Like burnout means you are doing it right.

But deep down, I started to wonder…

What if the strongest version of me is not the busiest one, but the one who is well rested and fully present?

That thought stayed with me. And slowly, I started to listen to it.

Realising I Was Running on Empty

There was a morning that hit differently.

I snapped at my kids over something small, something they did not deserve. The night before, I had barely slept. I was tossing, turning, uncomfortable, and completely wired from screen time and stress. When I finally closed my eyes, it felt like I blinked and the sun was up.

I looked in the mirror and barely recognized the person staring back. My eyes were tired. My shoulders were tense. My mind felt like it was moving through thick fog. I forgot simple things. I walked into rooms and stood there wondering why. I was drained in a way no cup of coffee could fix.

It was more than tiredness. It was the kind of exhaustion that seeps into your bones and colors your entire day. I started to feel resentful, not just of others but of the pace I had created for myself. I was trying so hard to do everything, to be everything, that I left no space to simply be.

Poor sleep was not just a symptom. It was the root. It was the quiet reason my self care was slipping, why I stopped feeling like myself, and why even joyful moments felt harder to reach.

And I knew something had to change. I could not keep giving from a place that was constantly empty.

Shifting from Me Time to Meaningful Rest

Once I realized I was running on fumes, I started looking at my nights differently. I began asking myself, what if self care was not about squeezing in a few quiet moments, but about actually giving my body and mind the rest they were begging for?

I did not need another late night scroll or another half hearted attempt at winding down. I needed to reset, not escape.

That is when I started shifting from just me time to meaningful rest. I turned off the screens earlier. I made my bedroom feel calmer, more intentional. I lit a candle. I journaled. I gave myself permission to slow down.

And then came one of the most important changes I upgraded my mattress.

I had no idea how much the surface I was sleeping on was affecting my quality of rest. I had gotten used to tossing, adjusting, waking up with stiffness. But once I switched to a luxury mattress designed for support and comfort, it felt like my body could finally let go. It was not just soft. It was structured. Supportive. Calming.

That one change was more than a purchase. It was a shift in mindset. I was choosing rest not as a luxury, but as a necessity.

My New Night Routine: Not Just Sleep, But Recovery

Now, bedtime feels different. It is not just something I do because the day is over. It is a small ritual I look forward to a gift I give myself without guilt.

Most nights, I start by dimming the lights and letting the house settle. I brew a calming tea, usually chamomile or something with lavender, and I actually let myself sit still while I drink it. No multitasking. No phone. Just quiet.

I keep a little notebook by my bed where I jot down whatever is swirling in my head—things I forgot, things I am grateful for, things I am letting go of. It is simple, but it helps.

And then, I climb into my bed. My mattress no longer feels like an afterthought. It is firm in the way my back needs, but soft enough to feel comforting. The support is even, and I do not wake up with sore shoulders or aching hips anymore. It almost feels like it holds me in place, allowing my body to fully relax.

This is not just sleep. It is recovery. And it has changed the way I show up in my own life.

I no longer collapse into bed, I arrive there on purpose.

How It Changed Everything

I used to think better sleep would just make me feel a little more rested. I had no idea how deeply it would affect every part of my life.

Now, I wake up without that heavy fog. My body does not ache the way it used to. I have more patience with my kids, and I do not feel like I am constantly playing catch up with my own thoughts. The little things that used to tip me over spilled juice, a last minute school email, a sibling squabble, feel a little more manageable.

I am not saying every day is perfect. But I am more present. I laugh more. I respond instead of react. And that is not just good for me, it is good for my family.

Even creatively, I feel sharper. Ideas come easier, and I have the energy to follow through with them. I started reading again. I even found joy in cooking, which used to feel like just another task.

Looking back, I realise I was never lazy, I was just tired. Deep down tired. And all the self care rituals in the world could not touch that until I let myself truly rest.

Changing how I sleep helped me reconnect with how I live.

Moms Do Not Need More Screen Time. We Need Sleep.

It is so easy to confuse zoning out with winding down. I used to think watching one more episode or scrolling through reels was giving me the break I deserved. But what I really needed was not more noiseI needed silence. I needed stillness. I needed sleep.

Somewhere along the way, we started treating exhaustion like a badge of honor. As if running on caffeine and sheer willpower makes us better mothers or more productive women. But the truth is, being constantly tired does not make us stronger. It makes everything harder.

We tell ourselves that me time means carving out moments when no one else needs us. But what if we flipped that? What if we saw rest as the ultimate form of self respect, not something we squeeze in, but something we protect?

Now, when I see posts glorifying busy moms who “never stop,” I do not feel inspired. I feel concerned. Because I have been that mom. And I know how it feels to be running on empty while smiling through it.

So here is the truth: moms do not need more content to scroll. We need real rest. Deep sleep. The kind that restores our bodies and calms our minds.

We deserve that, every night.

8. Investing in Deep Rest Is the Ultimate Self Care

For the first time in a long time, I no longer feel guilty about going to bed early.

I no longer see rest as a reward for a long day, I see it as the foundation of how I show up tomorrow. It is not selfish to prioritize your sleep. It is wise. It is necessary. And honestly, it is the kind of self care that goes deeper than candles or spa days.

One of the best decisions I made was investing in a mattress that actually supported me. I did not realize how much tension I was holding in my back, or how often I was waking up through the night until it stopped happening. Choosing a luxury mattress felt like an indulgence at first, but now I see it as a long-term investment in my health, my energy, and my peace.

Because the truth is, good sleep is not a luxury. It is a lifeline.

If you are a mom reading this and you feel stretched thin, start with your rest. Look at where and how you sleep. Create a space that feels calm and grounding. And if you can, give yourself the gift of comfort that lasts well beyond bedtime.

You deserve it. Not because you have done enough, but because you are enough.